Who is that on the other side of the table?

When I was a teenager, my parents had a dog named Max. Max was a Dogue de Bordeaux, or a French mastiff. These dogs, originally bred for labor, like pulling carts and guarding castles, generally weigh about 150 lbs and have a jaw large and strong enough to crush a human head. But Max was a cupcake - the sweetest dog we ever had.

We all knew that Max was an adorable cream puff, but when anyone came to the front door, Max went into full PROTECT MY FAMILY mode and barked in a basso profundo that would shake the front windows. Naturally, people were scared.

My mom soon realized that if we were having guests over, the best thing to do was to shut Max in the laundry room. She’d install Max there before she opened the front door to welcome our guests. When our guests were seated in the family room or the living room, she’d let Max out. He would immediately recognize these new people seated in his house as potential new friends or maybe even keepers of snacks. He’d amble up with his tail wagging and introduce himself in a gentle, albeit slobbery, way.

What does Max have to do with communicating? Well, the story of Max is a story of context. If you rang our front doorbell, Max assessed you as a potential THREAT and behaved accordingly. If you were sitting on the living room sofa, you must be a FRIEND. No barking required.

Context is everything when you’re communicating. Understanding the context you’re in is the Fourth Thing That Every Great Communicator Does!

Who are the people you’re talking to? Why are they assembled? What do they care about? What language do they use? What do they want from YOU? Using the Who What What Table can help you assemble what you do and don’t know about your audiences whenever you’re preparing to give a talk.

But what about Max? How do you assess the people who show up on your turf? Are they friends or foes?

Let’s say you’re preparing for your first media interview with a big reporter at the Wall Street Journal. She’s going to come to your office. How open or guarded should you be?

You must do as much research as you can before you even decide if you’re going to do the interview. What has this reporter written before? What does she say on Twitter about you? your company? your competitors? the industry? Has she moderated industry panels? Does she ask thoughtful or snarky questions? When she either asked for or agreed to take the interview with you, what did she say she wanted to talk about? What has she written about that subject?

Understanding whether this reporter has a friend or foe mindset is a huge part of preparing for a successful interview. Deciding what to say is ALSO huge, but that’s another topic entirely!

Max assessed the situations he was in by instinct and threw himself into whatever he saw. If you were sitting in our living room, you were a FRIEND WHO MAY HAVE TREATS!! Yay! He approached every guest in our home with the same open-hearted joy.

When you understand who you’re talking to, you can do the same, whether it’s from the stage or across your desk!